


eye of the beholder

by Warlordess



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: F/M, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23871346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warlordess/pseuds/Warlordess
Summary: A couple years after the XY gang goes their separate ways, a party of two plays catch up in Lumiose City. It's interesting how obvious things are missed when a one-track-mind is so distracted. One-sided Amour references and burgeoning Geekchicshipping by the end.
Relationships: Citron | Clemont/Serena, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum/Serena
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	eye of the beholder

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was created in response to a prompt request sent in anonymously on Tumblr ages ago. I figured it was worth sharing elsewhere however considering the global crisis.
> 
> As I said in my original notes for this fic, it is impossible to write an in-character Serena without referencing her feelings for Ash. They're so ingrained in her character, after all... 
> 
> The prompt was: "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you." 
> 
> If you find yourself reading and overall enjoying, please leave a comment!

This wasn’t how she’d imagined things transpiring for her after she left Ash behind in Kalos almost two years prior.

Serena sighed and accepted the mug of hot tea Clemont offered her with a weak smile, sipping at it cautiously while he took a seat across from her with his own beverage in hand.

“So how’s your mom doing? I’m guessing you went to visit her first once you finished out the most recent Kalos Queen circuit.”

“Oh… She’s alright. She’s really proud of me for how far I’ve gone to try and achieve my dream of being the showcase queen, or so she says. To travel out of the region just to find some references or inspiration for my next time around…” the honey-haired performer faltered and sighed, placing her mug on the proffered coaster that had been slid in front of her by her host,  _ hmm _ ing to herself as if to voice that she wasn’t sure it was worth finishing her statement.

“Serena? Something wrong?” Clemont proved softly, clear blue eyes peering into hers.

“Well, you… probably watched how things panned out from here in Lumiose City, right?”

“Uh…”

The teenage gym leader’s half-hearted response dispersed into the air as if it were a frigid breath on a brisk wintry morning. Unfortunately, beyond that failed attempt at consideration and comfort, he found himself at a loss for words.

“I still couldn’t compare to Aria, even after all that time I spent away from Kalos, studying to surpass her. I feel like such a disappointment. I don’t know what Palermo could possibly have seen in me.”

“Oh, Serena, you can’t  _ really  _ feel that way, can you? You’ve come a long ways from that girl who wasn’t even willing to consider finding herself a serious goal. That’s what Palermo must have seen in you. That’s what you decided to see in yourself, wasn’t it…? Especially… especially after you lost that first showcase.

Serena’s face drooped so low that he couldn’t clearly make out her expression but something told him he hadn’t gotten through to her yet.

“And… that’s the  _ thing  _ about serious goals, isn’t it?” he continued valiantly onward, “They’re not something that’s likely to be accomplished all that quickly. I mean, I know I still have a long way to go myself, and Bonnie only  _ just  _ received her trainer’s license. She hasn’t even left home yet.” Feeling he was on quite the roll, Clemont kept stride with the point he was trying to make. “You can’t sell yourself short just because it takes more than one or two tries to accomplish your life’s dream. I mean, heck, even  _ Ash  _ has been trying to become a Pokemon Master for far longer than we’ve known him, hasn’t he…?”

But as soon as he said the name, Serena flinched. And Clemont suddenly knew that this wave of crippling doubt she was going through had much less to do with what her supposed mentor thought of her and far more to do with someone else entirely.

“Serena, you know Ash has complete faith that you’ll eventually accomplish anything you set out to do,” the Kalos gym trainer coaxed her in reminder. “Um, sorry,” he amended in afterthought, assuming he’d made a wrong choice in words.

“Eventually…” the honey-haired performer murmured, unconsciously gritting her teeth and clenching her hands in her lap, “Eventually is… too far away!” she heaved finally, brows knitted, adding a touch of obvious frustration to her already obviously dark expression.

“Um, how so…?” her host asked awkwardly.

For Clemont was completely unaware of the cycle of memories furiously spinning inside her head, of Ash’s special smiles and special words, of his ` _ take your time _ `’s and ` _ don’t worry _ `’s and ` _ it’s not over until it’s over _ `’s, of his considerate touches on her shoulder, his many contributions to her self-confidence and his gifts (not always physical in nature), of his all-inspiring aura. Clemont was none-the-wiser to how, even as Serena’s body sat across from him on the couch, that her heart traveled a thousand miles away at a million beats per second to a somewhat familiar scene at an airport where a younger, flightier version of her had wanted to somehow give Ash a token of sorts to represent her gratitude, even as she made a silent promise that dedicated herself even more-so to everything he’d given her since they started traveling together.

“... rena…”

_ You are my goal. _

“... rena…?”

_ I promise that, next time we meet, I’ll become… _

“Serena?”

_ … an even more attractive woman! _

“I… Sorry, Clemont, what were you saying?” she asked him with a suddenly lighthearted smile. It was as if she’d somehow rebooted her mood.

“You said,” Clemont began despite his guest’s fragile disposition, “that eventually was too far away. I’d asked you why that is.”

“O - oh… it’s just…” And, unsure if it was the right call or not, Serena disclosed the secret she’d been carrying with her since the last time the two of them were in close quarters together, “it’s just that… I’d told myself… I’d thought that the next time I took part in the Kalos Queen circuit - well, maybe it’s not just about that… I guess some part of me was… using that dream to… continue improving upon myself… to become more like Ash.”

“More like Ash…?” Clemont repeated with a hint of a confused smile.

“Well, um… because of what he did for me - the both of us really. I want to be like him. I want to be,” and the honey-haired performer gulped as she did her best to finish her next line, “ _ with  _ him.”

“With…”

Clemont didn’t even attempt to finish parroting her statement this time, didn’t feel he had it in him, even as a minuscule piece of his own heart splintered within, a piece he hadn’t originally been entirely conscious of.

_ You are my goal _ , her younger self said a second time inside her head, and Serena remember how unbridled courage had bloomed within her as she’d raced back up the escalator to leave her mark on Ash, to prove to the world just how far she’d come.

“You know, though, Serena… Ash has always believed the best of you… of  _ any  _ of his friends. I remember even from the beginning, he used to always tout words of support and praise about basically anything you did. It was like he just couldn’t help but have absolute faith in you o - or anyone!” Clemont told her, hiding his bittersweet smile behind a well-placed chuckle, “It was almost like he couldn’t help himself.

“Next to him, I suppose… my will… my belief that you could so easily shine, improve yourself, do whatever you set your mind on, or else try again effortlessly without much impact on your self-esteem… Ah, anyway, I suppose my flimsy level of faith in you must seem pretty weak next to someone like that. I even remember Ash having to tell me a few different times that you’d be okay, and there was really no point in being worried at all.

“But I would worry about you,” he went on before she could interrupt, perhaps in order to admonish him over his latest confession.

“I worried about you a lot back then. I suppose, even nowadays, I still fall back into those old habits. I think it’s because I… viewed us as similar back then. I mean, like you said, Ash gave us  _ both  _ a good boost in confidence, a good sense of self. So, as someone else who relied on him, I guess I felt more sensitive to your struggles when you appeared to be going through them. I tried to keep a closer eye on you then, and yeah, it felt like all I could do was worry and wait for Ash to magically alleviate both of our concerns.”

Serena sat in stark silence across from Clemont, unable to find it in her to interrupt his speech. Her heartbeat was increasing dramatically against her will and she refused to try and guess why, unconsciously reminding herself that Ash wasn’t the only reason that had ever happened to her before. No, the heat of battle and wrath of rivalry and excitement of competition had often instigated such a reaction from her too.

Yet, somehow, right now… Clemont was no reminiscent of those alternatives, even as he brought them up to serve in his opinion of her.

“But now, after all that time watching you grow, all those days a - and weeks being concerned, wondering what I could say, wishing you through your moments of doubt or weakness… I can finally, undoubtedly, tell you that you’re much stronger than you used to be. And maybe a bit impatient too,” he added with an accompanying chuckle that sole her breath from her, but if he noticed it then he didn’t let on, “You can handle your average setbacks and you’re mature enough to power through. As far as your skills as a performer go, you’re right, I  _ did  _ watch the live broadcast from home, and I could tell right away how much you’d learned in Hoenn, how much straighter, prouder, smarter you carry yourself now.

“You’re going to make an amazing - the  _ best  _ \- Kalos Queen one day soon, Serena. That’s how I see things anyway. I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

There it was. Speech complete. Serena’s heart thudded madly away inside her chest, her face feeling rosy in a way she hadn’t experienced in almost two years… not since she and Ash had gone their separate ways. Only, for the first time ever, the boy dominating her thoughts was not the same one from her past fantasies. No, at this very moment, she couldn’t help seeing Clemont in a completely different light than she had before.

Clemont, who’d struggled simply because she had too.

Clemont, who’d openly admitted to lacking confidence in her abilities from way back when.

Clemont, who’d thought very little of himself until Ash’s undying confidence had come to sway his natural pessimistic reactions, same as her.

Clemont, who’d grown just like she had after so much exposure to Ash’s light, and was not the same person he had been before.

And her response came tumbling from her mouth with abandon, a response she hadn’t known could come into existence without Ash there to incite it.

“I do,” she responded firmly with a grateful smile, “See myself that way, I mean. Thanks, Clemont. Somehow that was exactly what I needed to hear. And also, I see you that way too. I guess it’s kind of hard  _ not  _ to acknowledge how strong you’ve gotten after learning you could say things like that!”

The two smiled innocently at each other, their beverages admittedly long forgotten, before moving on to much easier-going topics.

What they didn’t realize was that their previous conversation had gained itself an unintended audience towards the end, an audience who was was  _ not  _ going to let her big bro off the hook this time around until he’d acquired himself a certain honey-haired girlfriend.


End file.
